Oct 21, 2012

Maintaining a list of family rules that you believe in will help you be a better parent if you

Reasons to agree: + 2
  1. It is helpful to tell parents to make rules and set punishments. 
    1. Reasons to agree:
      1. Kids need rules. 
      2. There are studies that show that kids feel anxious, nervous and scared when they feel like they are responsible for everything, and can do whatever they want because they are afraid. Rules set some sort of order, if they are based in common sense.
      3. You can't punish people, if they don't know something is wrong. If you really don't want kids to do stuff, you should sit down ahead of time and make a rule of all those things
  2. You shouldn't use a set list, but update it and modify it based on things the kids are struggling with.
Lists of Rules
  1. Below is are rules to consider, based on your family needs. You should pick the ones you like, print it and put it on your fridge
    1. Tell the truth.
    2. You should have your 2nd grader do homework and 15 minutes of grade level reading before they can choose their own activities.
      1. Reasons to agree:
        1. Grade level reading may be harder, but you won't improve unless you push yourself.
        2. They have done studies that prove that watching too much TV is bad.
        3. The later it gets in the day, the harder it is for your brain to think well. 
        4. You should do important things first. That way if you run out of time, you got the important things done.
        5. Daily routines help form good habits. It's nice not to have to figure out what to do each day. 
      2. Reasons to disagree:
        1. You could also do 1 hr and 45 minutes of reading a week. This probably allows kids to get more engrossed in a story, and get addicted to it better. They don't have to read it all at the same time.
          1. Reasons to disagree:
            1. 2nd graders usually don't have long enough attention spans to do more than 15 minutes of reading. 
        2. Daily routines are sort of boring and monotonous. 
    3. Treat each other with respect. no yelling, hitting, kicking, name-calling, put-downs. Go to room for violations? Green, Yellow, Red Cards?
    4. No arguing with parents. We want and value your input and ideas, but arguing means you have made your points more than once.
    5. Respect each other’s property. Ask permission to use something that doesn't belong to you.
    6. Do what Mom and Dad say the first time.without complaining or throwing a fit!
    7. Ask permission before you go somewhere.
    8. Put things away that you take out.
    9. Look for ways to be kind and helpful to each other.
    10. Reasons to disagree:
      1. Putting a reminder to tell the truth is not necessarily, and accomplishes nothing. It sends the signal that a piece of paper on a fridge can improve their lives, and that you don't think they will tell the truth without the paper, or that they weren't telling the truth before the paper.
    11. Don't swear
      1. Reasons to disagree:
        1. You need to learn to speak intelligently
    12. No more than x hours of TV a day
    13. Kids should be given specific rules about how to avoid harming their processions and things that belong to the family.
      1. You should keep expensive things out of the reach of those who don't know or don't care about their safety (don't give pears to swine). This includes Wii remotes, snow globes, expensive toy animals with breakable parts. 
      2. You should keep your stuff organized. Everything that is good is a result of Order. Chaos is a part of everything that is bad.
      3. You should keep dirt and goo away from things that are clean
        1. Reasons to agree:
          1. You should take off your muddy shoes before coming inside.
          2. You should wash your hands after meals, and playing with dirty things
          3. You should not pick your nose and wipe it on stuff.
          4. Cleanliness is next to godliness. 
          5. You should cover your mouth with your elbow when you sneeze
          6. You should wear a smock or a bib when you move things that drip unexpectedly, like eating or painting with  fluids with properties you have not yet learned, or with wet surfaces that your brain can not remember to avoid.
    14. Kids should not allow their carelessness result in harm to their toys or the families property, especially expensive things like the car, or difficult to fix portions of the house. As kids age they need to learn to take care of "their" things, which involves keeping up with an organizational scheme that you help them with. 
    15. Reasons to disagree:
      1. If you plan on driving your car until it has very little value, than the scratches or upholstery might not limit its value as much as the age of the motor, transmission, etc. 
    16. Reasons to agree:
      1. It is OK to want your cars and house to look presentable while you own it, even if some day it will be scrapped and rebuilt. People make bad assumptions about those with broken down homes and cars.
      2. It takes effort to earn money to buy things. It takes effort to keep things nice. Kids need to learn that it is wrong to take for granted efforts of others in their behalf. 
        1. Reasons to agree:
          1. Everyone should learn to take care of their stuff, keep it 
        2. Reasons to disagree:
          1. Kids that don't value nice things will naturally value your efforts to keep things nice
    17. Do homework before fun (don't reward with treats)

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